Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Let Down

I received a lot of wonderful gifts for Christmas this past year. One of them was from my was a jigsaw puzzle of two women in costumes for Carnival. We have been working on this dumb puzzle for two months and last night we finished it only to find that TWO pieces were missing.
It was such a let down. We had worked so hard and this silly puzzle has been messing up our kitchen for two months and we can't finish it. I don't want to complain to the company because they just might send me a replacement and I can't look at these two women for another second.
What is really crazy is that I am thinking of going out and buying another of these dumb puzzles because even with the two pieces missing, Elinor and I had fun together. Ain't it a trip?

Tuesday, February 26, 2008


I was listening to
National Public
Radio today and they were talking
about what white
people like and I was trying to figure why it mattered. Then I thought well, what do I like? Is it so different from what a black person likes. Of course it is because we were raised in different enviornments. Even if they were similar they would be different because our histories are different. I was raise in a wealthy area where I did not want for anything. I had a big home. We had a nice car, tv, etc. I went to a nice school where there was no graffitti on the walls, I didn't have to worry about drugs or driveby shootings. This is not to say that the children of that same area today don't have to worry about those things. Nowadays, everyone has to be afraid. There were no blacks in my neighborhood, elementary school, jr high and very few in my senior high. There were no blacks in my prep school and not many at my jr college. To me, this was a loss. I like different people and cultures but I don't always feel comfortable around them. I don't know if I had been exposed to different cultures in my childhood, I might be better at this but maybe not. We tend to seek
our own......those who are like us. This saddens me because I don't like to feel that I am prejudice.
The pictures today reflect things I like: Flowers, sunrises, and friends. I like other things as well but I am sure there are many people who like these three things. I prefer to look for that which ties us together not what seperates us.

Saturday, February 23, 2008

A New Day

I have often heard the question, what would you do if you could start all over again? That is one thing I do not want to ever do. With my luck I would probably screw up worse then I have already. To say if I only had known is a waste of time. I know it now and now is what I have to change.
We were reading a article in OA this morning about the "honeymoon" being over. When I first joined OA, I did everything I was supposed to do and it worked just like they said. When I stopped doing everything I was supposed to do, it didn't work anymore. I lost my abstinence and I have regained the weight. All that work for nothing.
But that isn't really true either. I can begin anew.
I can start over. It is my choice. Today is the first day of the rest of my life. It is a clean page and I am the only one writing. How I fill the page is my choice.
There is a song from Jesus Christ Superstar that Mary Magdelan sings. It goes.."I've been living to see you. Dying to see you but it shouldn't be like this. This was unexpected...What do I do now? Could we start again please?"
So ......can we start again? Please?

Friday, February 22, 2008

Stay Awake

There was a song from Mary Poppins called Stay Awake which is playing in my head. I just got a call from Elinor saying her flight is delayed by an hour. It was due to leave Las Vegas at 9:30pm and get into Portland at 11:50pm. Now it will arrive at 12:35am.
All I am hearing in my head is " Stay Awake ...don't rest your head. Don't lie down upon your bed. You're not sleepy as you think.....Stay awake ......don't nod and wink." Those probably aren't the right words but what the hey? I am falling asleep no matter what and I still have to get my poor sister at 12:35am.
This is the time that I wish I could catnap like the beast here but if I lie down.......I will be out for the count. Oh well. it is nice to be needed...........and............lala.....byyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyye and good night

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

In Harbor

There are times when one feels like they just want to be the harbor. The outside world is too scarey. There is too much violence,harshness, just too much......
The only place safe is home. But that is no solution. If you don't go out and face the world, you will miss all the good things like crocus blooming or the birds singing or children laughing. You won't feel the breeze blowing thru the trees. You won't be alive. Safety is nice but not very satisfactory. It is time to put out to sea (or see).

Monday, February 18, 2008

Well, we went on another adventure on Saturday. It was very pleasant outside and I just had to go. I wanted to go back and try and get to Long Beach. I was successful. It was a lovely drive. I drove up RT 5 to Kelso and then got on Rt 4 going west. I stayed on that until I saw the signs for Rt 401 going to Ilwaco. Ilwaco is a lovely fishing town with a nice harbor. It is on the bottom of the Long Beach Peninsula. From there I drove up to Long Beach which is like Ocean City, MD. I kept going until I reached Leadbetter Point. There was a wildlife refuge but I didn't see any animals this time. I am really enjoying this exploring. It is amazing to me the number of people who have no idea what is available in their state. We all need to explore more. I know gas is expensive but better to expand your horizons then to expand your butt. At least that is how I feel.

When I Was 21

My great niece, Ellie may be moving down to this area. She is 21 and when we talked today, I remembered when I left home at 21. I figured I had 5 choices of where to settle:Hawaii where my brother Ross lived, Hayward where
my sister Elinor lived, Chicago where my Aunt Barbie lived;New York city where my Dad lived and Falls Church, VA where my Aunt Pat lived. I choose Virginia. Pat allowed me to live in her home for two months and then she kicked me out( a very wise decision on her part). She took me into
the YWCA and I spent one night there and promptly moved out to Hartnet Hall over on the west side of Dupont Circle.
Two nights there and I was ready to go back to Mom back in Hartsdale but I found an efficiency on 16th and P St. I remember it clearly. It was halfway between 16th and 15th. It was an old brownstone owned by a old Jewish couple from New York named Weinbaum. They had their daughter living with them and she was a little strange but they were kind.
I lived there for ten years until my brother asked me to move in with him. I liked living in DC when I did. I walked alot because that was the best way to get where I wanted to go. I wasn't afraid then. I probably would be terrified now. It was a nice little efficiency. There was a small kitchen, a bathroom, a big closet and the room. I didn't have much but it was ok.
I had two cats while I lived there. Gemini who ran away when I got a new bed and Charlie who was with me for 14 years. Gemini was with me when I saw the movie The Godfather. She had a habit of crawling under the covers down by my feet. I can remember stretching out my legs and feeling something furry. I don't know who jumped or the beast but that was the last time she ever crawled under the covers. I can remember an Easter when I was all alone.
I was so miserable and then I watched Bonanza. The show that night was called Easter Bunny Crossing and it had Hoss, the middle brother and a big guy at that, dressing up as the Easter Bunny and then happening on a stagecoach robbery. He didn't have a gun so he just pelted the
robbers with easter eggs. I laughed myself silly. I have never forgotten that.
I have also never forgotten my favorite trivia about DC. Four blocks south of where I lived is Scott Circle. In the middle of the circle is a statue of General Winfield Scott. When the General died his family commissioned this statue but the artist had him sitting on a mare. The family was horrified and the artist had to add something to the horse(but it still looks like a mare to me)
It is the only statue that has had a sex change.
I wonder what Ellie will remember when she looks back to this time. I hope she will have a few
good memories of me. I hope I will be a help to her the way my Aunt Pat was to me. I will try.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

There be elk out there

I saw my first elk on
Monday. At
first I wasn't sure
what I was looking at but they are definately elk. Females.
The other
picture was near a wildlife refuge for the Columbia White tailed Deer which I did not see. I will also say Spring is coming because we have croci(that is crocus in the plural) I love Spring. It gives me hope and
gets me through.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

What is it about covered bridges?

I'm not sure what it is but I like these wonderful bridges. The top one is Roddy Road located near Thurmont, MD. It is off the main road but it easy to find. I had a good time taking pictures there and because it was off the main road, there wasn't a whole lot of traffic.
The bottom bridge is the Goddard White Bridge near Flemming,
KY. It isn't the original bridge but a very nice reconstruction.
The one on the middle was built in 1905 and is in Grays River, WA. This was from my adventure on Monday and I really like the bridge but the location was horrible and very ugly. I hope they will work on fixing the land around it because it could be really nice.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Noah and the Flood

You know the old saying ....."What goes around, comes around?"
I have found that to be true lately.
When I was first finding out about God and the Bible two years ago, one of my big questions was about the Flood. I wanted to know about the dinosaurs and did the Flood just take place around the Middle East? I couldn't really believe that it took place the way the Bible said. Now two years later, I can't believe that I doubted the story.
I am taking a Precept Bible study which really goes into the "Written Word" and the more I read the easier it becomes to believe. Maybe before, God was testing me to see how strong my faith was and whether I was ready to accept His word as truth. My teacher gave us a good lesson
today by telling us that we should not try and conform the Bible to explain science. We should also not let our present day media form our thoughts about the Word either.
When I think of dinosaurs, I just think of T-Rex and the brontasaurus(sp) and the stegasaurus but actually, most of the dinosaurs were not that big. Also, they might not have been in the same area as Noah before the flood. After the flood, man probably hunted them to extinction.
As for the Flood only taking place around the Middle East, I don't think so. Almost every culture all around the world has a Flood story in its history and there are not eye-witness accounts....... you know.... where someone writes "I saw this happen".
Finally, there is God's covenant with Noah........the one about the rainbow. If we didn't have that, I sure would be sweating every time it rained and out here, that is all it does. I breathe a whole lot easier every time I see that little old rainbow and I try to remember to thank God for His Compassion, Grace and forgiveness .

Monday, February 11, 2008

What a difference a day makes

Boy what a difference a day makes. Spirits have definitely lifted a little. I got off my duff and went for an adventure which always
boosts me and I had a nice time. I decided to head over towards the coast but I didn't get an early enough start so I only got as far as Grays River but it was a nice journey and I discovered a covered bridge. No pictures yet but hopefully in the next few days. I didn't make it to the coast but I did have fun. It wasn't that it was sunny or really beautiful but I was at peace and that made the difference.

Sunday, February 10, 2008

Love/Hate Relationship

You know that love/hate relationship seems to apply to more than computers. It really applies to me. I am feeling like this old barn......kinda broken down and falling apart. I can't seem to get a handle on things.
There is a little depression.......ok, alot of depression. It is not that I don't like Washington....I do. It is not that I miss Elinor
but of course, I do. I just feel lonesome. I have felt lonesome in Virginia too so this is nothing new. I am just having trouble kicking myself out of it. I know what to do but making myself do it is the problem. Sometimes I just don't like me.
I will find my way......this type of behavior is really not helpful and I will get rid of it soon I hope. I don't enjoy it and it feels lousy. Hang in there, are still standing.

Thursday, February 7, 2008

Love/Hate Relationship

I have decided that I have a love/hate relationship with computers. I really like being able to look up things but sometimes it feels like I am in a whirlpool. My sister uses the computer to pay bills. When she is not here, then I do it for her. We received a bill from our computer/tv/phone company and I paid it but the payment went to the wrong place. It is so frustrating because it takes about ten calls to get it corrected.
The computer does allow me to have this blog so I do have to be grateful for some things but sometimes I feel like I'm being dragged into the technical world kicking and screaming all the way. I need to go with the flow but I may continue to kick and scream for a while just on principles.

Saturday, February 2, 2008

Cashew's got a boyfriend

It is true. There is a big(and I mean big) tawny cat that roams
around our neighborhood and Cashew has the hots for him. When he comes to the back door, she lies on the floor on her back and pats at the window. She is acting like a wanton hussy.
Then she stands on her hind legs and scratches at the window like crazy.
It is all for naught because it will be a cold day in you know where before she ever gets out again. It is not like she hasn't ever had love. She was a mother just before I adopted her. Unfortunately, all her kittens died. I don't begrudge my beastie
but there is no way I will go thru that again(of not knowing where she is) I don't know how any of you parents got thru that business.
This big tom cat looks like a mobster. All he needs is a cigar. I have decided to call him Big Julie (short for Julio). Sometimes
you just have to say NOOOOOOO!

Friday, February 1, 2008

I think we have been here before

Have you ever had one of those days where nothing seems to go right? We got a pamphlet in the mail about voting. Washington State's primary is on February 19th, 2008. I won't be able to vote because my name is spelled incorrectly. Guess where? My driver's licence.
So today I had to go back to the DMV and try and get this straightened out. I don't care if the DMV doesn't know who I am but if the voter registration doesn't recogize me, I will really be ticked. This is one presidential election I don't want to miss. Not only was my driver's licence
wrong but so was my title. It cost me $19.00 to change the title and $10.00 to change the driver's. I have to send a name change to the voter's registration. And just how did they print my name? McDonlad. When I first went to the DMV back in November, I was so happy to get it I didn't look carefully enough. I saw what I wanted to see. You can bet your sweet bibby I checked every letter this time. Oh well, at least I can still get this done before the election. Can you just imagine how upset I would have been if I had gone into the polls and they wouldn't let me vote? I guess my Heavenly Father is really looking out for me. Thanks, God.