Wednesday, April 28, 2010

She Challenges Me

This is my good friend, Carolyn Shoup. She was my favorite camera buddy and still is, although I am not taking very many pictures any more.

The two black and whites were pictures I took with her when we were studying photography together at NOVA. What fun we had. For the second class we took, we decided to photograph Civil War battlefields. We traveled all over Virginia and saw some great places. We learned alot about the history but the best lesson we learned was that unless you know the story about the battle, there is nothing very special about the field.
The picture with the fence down the middle is Antietam in Sharpsburg, MD. It was the site of the bloodiest battle of the Civil War. Not only were soldiers killed during the battle but because there was so much blood that the water supply got polluted and many people died after the battle. Townspeople who had left when the shooting began, died when they returned to their homes.
The other battlefield is Bull Run or Manassas in VA. Just to the left of where this picture was taken, Stonewall Jackson got his nickname. Barnard Bee shouted "There's Jackson standing like a stonewall. Rally behind the Virginians" You can almost here the cannons roar.
Today is Carolyn's birthday. I am so grateful that she is my friend and is a part of my life. Even though we don't see each other very often, I know she is there. I treasure this lady and wish a happy and healthy birthday. Love ya, Lady.

Monday, April 26, 2010


I am learning how to meditate. You have to get in a quiet mode so I do it in the morning before Elinor gets up. You have find a place where you go. The first three days, it was the old horse chestnut tree in our driveway on Greenacres Ave in Scarsdale.
I use to climb this tree all the time. I liked to go as high as I could and sway in the tree. I could spend hours up high and day
More recently, I find myself at the beach. The first time was at sunrise with the salt air, a gentle breeze and the seagulls. The second time, I was walking in the sand near the water. The sun was up and I was getting my toes wet. It was lovely.
You have to be precise when you describe where you are. The things you see or do are messages as to where you are . For example, the ocean is a form of renewal. The sand is a grounding. It is an interesting experience.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Our Special Time

Cashew and I have a special ritual. Whenever I wash my hair, she likes to get up on my left shoulder and sniff my head and then lie there and purr. She purrs right in my ear and then she drapes herself on my shoulder with the most contented look. It is really nice. She always knows. I guess she smells the shampoo. It is the only time she doesn't mind being held for over a minute. I've gotten so I treasure this little time.

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Too Many Buts And Not Enough Ands

I have decided that I am one of the most negative people in the world. I always say no first. I seem to gravitate toward the worst scenario. I see what I can't have instead of what I can have.
It is definately a drawback to change. Maybe that is why I am so afraid of change. I want to make changes in my life but in order to do that, I have to have faith that I can handle the changes; that they are right for me; that they are what my Heavenly Father wants me to do.
I am soooooo stubborn and frighten that instead of opening my heart and mind, I freeze up.
Changes can be handled. I can do this. I can continue reading my book even though I don't like what it says and take the parts I can handle now and use them to help myself. I sometimes feel like that mule that just sits down and refuses to budge. Well, God keeps offering me carrots instead of the whip so I am just gonna get off my butt and think about the positive for a while.
I am not sure why I choose these two pictures except the dandilion perseveres and so does the morning glory and if they can, I can too.

Monday, April 12, 2010

Hit the Brakes!!!!!!

Just when I think I am doing better, then something happens and I hit the brakes. I am suppose to be reading this book which is trying to help me get my life together and it started talking about changing eating habits. The red lights came on.....The brakes applied and I sat down just like this old boulder right where I was.
Well, not really because if I had sat down, I wouldn't have been able to get up again. When someone starts talking diets, I get so angry that I stop listening to anything.
I know what I have to do but the emergency brake is on and I am stuck. Talk about a stubborn mule.....that's me in an eggshell or is it a nutshell? Whatever!!!!

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

The Call

"Sometimes in this life we hear calling from somewhere. Sometimes it is loud and clear; sometimes it's so softly there.
Sometimes it is in the sea. Sometimes in the sky.
Sometimes it's in you and me. Sometimes it's a cry.
Open your heart....I am calling you. Right from the very start your wounded heart was calling too.
Open your arms. You will find the answer when you answer to the Call."
This song has hit me like a ton of bricks. I can not get it out of my head. I heard it performed by the Celtic Woman, an amazing group. This song is speaking to me. See if you can hear it.
"Sometimes it is in desire or in the love we fear. When the call is calling us 'till the fear will disappear.
When we have no dance to dance...the call is in the song. When we have no voice to sing then the call is calling strong.
Open your arms......I am calling you. Right from the very start your wounded heart was calling too.
Open your arms.......You will find the answer when you answer to the Call."

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Things Are Happening

The past two weeks have been very strange. I have been learning about patterns. Not fabric patterns but life patterns.
Every morning, I have been looking into a mirror and saying "Marie-Fay McDonald.........I love and accept you exactly as you are."
If you think it is easy, try it. Especially when you don't really feel it. The amazing thing is, I am not having as much trouble saying it now as I did before.
I find myself paying attention to things more. For example, this morning I was dozing and I heard a bell. I awoke immediately and there was nothing more to the dream then the bell. I know that means that someone or something is trying to get my attention. Since today is Saturday, I usually go to an OA meeting. I didn't really want to go but because I dreamed about the bell, I figured that I should go. The result was that it was a very good meeting for me and I connected with two other people who are working thru some of the same stuff I am. I needed to hear what they had to say.
I feel that I am more open to changes today. Unreal!!!!!